I stand ruminating in the shower
After looking into the mirror
Wondering when my nose got so big
Is my smile growing crooked
Aren’t my eyebrows kind of bushy
I wish that scar wasn’t there
Then I catch myself and think
I ought to stop worrying so much
About the way that I look
Then I catch myself and think
I ought to stop worrying so much
About what others think
Then I catch myself and think
I ought to stop worrying so much
About things that I ought to stop worrying so much about
Intrusive thoughts
Pound my skull
Like heavy drops of water
The thought that as I ruminate
Precious resources join hands
And flow through my fingers
The thought that I can’t manage
How my body needs to move
While my mind needs to rest
The thought that I’ve sold my soul
To buy things I don’t need
To satisfy a life I don’t want
The thought that what if
All these nasty thoughts
Are actually just a reflection of what’s inside
Thoughts washing over me
Adding more grit to my pile of grime
And I feel drained
Then I catch myself
In the middle of the deluge
And I think about her
How she gives without cost
How she takes me as I am
How she wipes away the grime
As my mind lingers on her
I feel worries turn to steam
Lifting gently from my soul
I am soothed as I’m held within
Her warm, seductive release
My exhale breathes ecstasy
Finally, I am clean